This post was written in response to Writing 101: To Whom It May Concern. My prompt, elevation, came from the book Westmark by Lloyd Alexander
Trigger Warning: This deals with several issues including depression and allusion to suicide. If you are triggered by any of these please do yourself a favour and don’t read this post.
If you do find yourself thinking about suicide please visit the International Suicide Prevention Wiki and find someone you can talk to. Suicide is a permanent reaction to a temporary situation. There is always hope and I urge you to find yours.
She left the bar in the crazy hours of the morning. She navigated the throngs of drunkards on the street. It was easier for her to move through the crowds without her so-called friends.
She was glad to leave the people behind. There was a stillness in the cool breeze. The caress of the wind soothed her wounded soul.
The road was one she was use to. She travelled the paved pathway after every night out. She normally passed by the trees dancing in the moonlight.
Tonight she would join them in their pre-dawn dance.
Clouds stole the moon as she turned off the road and into the grass.
It was here she felt free. The rocks may cut into her hands as she climbed but no one laughed at her clumsiness. She may stumble but no one asked her what she thought she was doing.
Here she was loved unconditionally. It didn’t matter that she was single or in a dead-end job.
Here in the silence of the mountain she was home. And here in the silence of the mountain she would stay.
She had been thinking about it for a while but she never truly thought she would do it.
She thought there would be someone who cared enough about her. Someone who would anchor her to this world.
She was wrong. The boy she thought she would marry turned out to be married already. Her best friend kept disappearing for weeks at a time. And there was no one else.
She wasn’t good enough to have any other friends. She wasn’t pretty enough to have any other boyfriends. She just wasn’t enough.
But the mountain didn’t judge her.
The mountain kept her safe.
The mountain would welcome her with open arms.
She heaved a sigh of relief as she reached the top. Sitting down amidst the cool rocks, she allowed the dew to collect around her.
She pulled the letter out of her pocket. Opening it, she read her words again, wishing she could change them but knowing it wouldn’t matter.
All she needed was a simple good-bye but there was no one to send it to.
Perhaps the person who found her would care to read her final words.
Perhaps no one would find her.
But it wouldn’t matter to her in a few minutes.
The alcohol still in her system made her sleepy. With a bit of effort, she reached back into her pocket and brought out the pills lying in wait.
“Hey, I didn’t know anyone else was here. Sorry to interrupt.”
She jumped, dropping her wonderful pills into the ground.
“Are you alright?” The voice came closer.
She looked up from her search to see a young woman.
“You look a bit frazzled. Are you ok?” The woman knelt next to her. “I’m usually the only one on this mountain this time of day. I like it when it’s quiet. It takes me away from the busy world.”
She didn’t say anything. She couldn’t say anything.
“My name is Martha. My mom has a secret love affair with Martha Stewart. What’s your name?”
She swallowed past the dryness left by the alcohol. “I’m Kerry.”
“Well Kerry, it is a pleasure to meet you.” Martha’s smile seemed to cover her entire face. “To be honest, I’m glad I’m not the only person crazy enough to climb Arthur’s Seat in the dark. We should do this more often.”
Martha nodded. “We should. Now, how about we start heading down. I don’t know about you but my boss is worse than a dragon if I’m late.”
Kerry smiled and grabbed the hand Martha was reaching out with. “I know what you mean. My boss is the same way.”